at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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