He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
