I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
