Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
