tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
