I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
