Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
