How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
