she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
