Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
