Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
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