i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
