She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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