U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
