Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
