Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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