I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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