I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
