Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
