Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
