I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
