Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
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