I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
