Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
