no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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