1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
