But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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