But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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