I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize