If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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