Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
