we're blogging at a bar
What did we do last night that was yellow?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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