Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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