My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
