True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize