seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
