We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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