the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
