just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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