I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
