I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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