apparently the secret to your success is patron
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
