and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize