Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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