I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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