Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
