Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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