So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
We were destined to go to rehab together
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
