so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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