Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
