we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
