Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just high enough for therapy.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
im on a boat
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