I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I smell stomach acid.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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