sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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