handjob tips. give me some.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
