genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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