i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
