Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Is it penis luge time yet?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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