You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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