i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
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