Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
worst night to have a conscience
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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