she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize