I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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