This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Randomize
