I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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